Parkour

Parkour is a physical art of French origin, the aim of which is to move from point A to point B as efficiently and quickly as possible, using the abilities of the human body. It is meant to help one overcome obstacles, which can be anything in the surrounding environment — from branches and rocks to rails and concrete walls — so parkour can be practiced in both rural and urban areas. Male parkour practitioners are recognized as traceurs and female as traceuses. Check out David Belle and Sébastien Foucan







this is in french, but David Belle is the master

Cartman Gets Teh Gay: Cancelling Out The Gay Polarity

i missed this episode last night and where the fuck was the Sarah Silverman Program?
Cartman catches/gives Butters teh gay and Butters has to go to straight camp to cure him of his bi-curiosity.


pray away the gay

Popularity Dialer

You know when your friend is going on a date or to an uncomfortable metting with someone and they ask you to call them with an emergency to get out of it? Well now this website does all the work for you. Its also for those times when you want to seem more important and popular in public (see the Affirmation Call). Choose the future date and time and the automated voice message you want to receive.

• Male Voice
• Female Voice
• The Affirmation Call - basically this is just a message telling you how great you are
• The Boss Call
• The Cousin-in-Need Call - apparently the cousin is a hick

http://www.popularitydialer.com/

And dont forget about localized Rejection Lines.

http://www.rejectionline.com/copycat.html

The concensus from most guys ive talked to about this, is that its more insulting to get one of these numbers. On the other hand, having a unwanted guy persistently hitting on you is annoying so who gives a shit about their ego and feeling.

I just tried calling the 949 one ( 949 256 5412) and its pretty harsh:

"the person who gave you this number does not was to see you or speak to you ever again. you have officially been rejected"

It also seems to offer consolation options for the recently rejected such as poetry (press 1) and even further, more detailed, rejection (press 6). I think that rejection lines should have varying levels of harshness. Wheres the im-just-not-that-into-you Line or the I-would-have-fucked-you-in-the-bathroom-last-night-but-today-i-dont-even-remember-meeting-you Phone Line. Im just sayin...

Youtube Round-up

Your Daily WTF Videos: (random vids that i apparently favorited on YouTube)


The Japanese made giant dinosaur robots


Human Slinky: this disturbs me to no end


Thousand Hand Guan Yin: this is just cool


10 Things I Hate About Commandements: an oldie, but a goodie


I'm a Barbie girl...

ANTM Cycle 8 - The Girl Who Cries All The Time

Makeover Makeover Makeover Makeover Makeover Makeover...Makeover!!!


i miss Clone High

So finally the makeover episode. I was actually feeling quite apathetic about this cycle until last night. And this ice cream photoshoot was actually really fun, i didnt think they had anymore good photoshoots in them.

Brittany: Her makeover looked very painful and its hard to understand the red color, but even with her crazy-ugly face she takes amazing pictures.



Cassandra: The fro is awesome but shes still ugs...which is why shes gone


Diana: This girls face is boring and i think shes a bitch. the end.


Dionne: *shrug*


Felicia: i like this one. lil tyra. thank god her old hair is gone, but lets pray some of her eyebrows grow back so they can fix them.


Jael: Jael is awesome. Her nasal-voice still bugs me and she happens to look particularly fug in her "after" pic, but the makeover does look good on her.


Jaslene: Also an amazing model but her rail-thiness is gross in the photoshoot pic. At least we know for sure now that shes not a dude.


Natasha: Finally, an asian on top model.


Renee: Since the beginning i've wanted to like this bitch, but shes a bitch..


Sarah: maybe i am still apathetic about this cycle...


Whitney: ...or maybe just apathetic about most of these girls.

Dear Hip Hop community:

The Malcolm X Grassroots Movement is asking every member of the Hip Hop generation, to take ten minutes today to became a friend on MySpace and Facebook, we are moments away from a decision from the Queens grand jury that may or may not indict the four police offices, who murdered Sean Bell and attempted to murder Joseph Guzman and Trent Benefield, these brothers, members of our generation, need us to stand with them as the demand justice, yesterday the NYPD announced that they are preparing for protests,by deploying over 4000 street and undercover cops to hot spots in the city, this is a preemptive assault against people who are demanding justice, so we say, When they Say Get Back, We Say Fight Back! if you are a media maker, talk, write, blog, post, text; Lastly if you are in the Tri-state, stay alert and join us at Union Square, for more information, check out:

www.myspace.com/peoplesjustice, use the below image to put on your web-pages, and for press folks, the press advisory is at the end of this email.

Sincerely,
The Malcolm X Grassroots Movement, member organization of Peoples Justice

www.mxgm.org
chapter_newyork@mxgm.org
718-254-8800

*this message as sent to you by Rosa Clemente, a member of MXGM, knowthyself@mac.com/clementerosa@gmail.com

Milk That Cow, Vh1

Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School
Starts April 15th!

Featuring:

• Bootz


• Buckie


• Buckwild !!!


• Goldie !!!


• Hottie


• Krazy


• Like Dat


• Pumkin


• Rain


• Saaphyri (you want some lip chap?)


• Serious


• Smiley


• Toasteee

this links to a pre-series video:
http://www.vh1.com/vspot/player.jhtml?name=shows&id=1554246&launchedFrom=/shows/dyn/charm_school/series.jhtml

Virgin Territory

On March 12 casting began in NYC for a new reality show called "Virgin Territory", a contest in which male virgins, ages 18-34, compete to eventually have sex with a real life porn star...possibly Jenna Jameson. [Casting info at their myspace: http://www.myspace.com/virginterritorycasting]





how sad, but good for them for taking some initiative, i guess. This all reminds me of The Almost 40-Year-Old Virgin Blog. He no longer seems to blog so i hope that means he finally got some, b/c he sounded like the most bitter, woman-hating virgin ever...which is reasonable.

My Own Midget

This is better than the customizable American Girl dolls i wanted when i was litte. With the help of http://www.myownmidget.com/ you can have your very own customized midget statue thingy. Im not sure what the point is but i guess if you're lonely for tiny people and dont have the initiaive to find some real ones, this is the way to go [Click here for Tucker Max's infamous Midget Story.]



For $499.00 you can choose from styles such as:

• The Butler
• White Trash
• The Oompa
• The Clown
• The Sailor
• The Pool Boy

And for $1099.00 you can customize the Sex, Eye Color, Hair Color/Style, Clothing Accessories and more!



Side Note: Brad Williams, the midget they used to make the molds for these goes to USC. He's that comedian midget that everyone thought was Wee-Man at first.




See Also: Rent-A-Midget, rent actual midgets for parties and such

Artie, The Creepiest Man...In The World!

Today i recived a friend req from Artie, The Strongest Man...In The World (Nickelodeon's The Adventures of Pete & Pete). I am already friends with a fake Artie, and i assumed that they deleted their page and were trying to get their old friends back. Turns out it was an entirely different fake Artie...a perverted one. Also presumptuous.



Edit: the plot thickens, he has now left me a gross myspace comment, and i cant even comment back strangely. It says i have to be his friend to comment, but obv i was his friend b/c he commented on my page. he must have he deleted me right after making the pointless comment. creepy!



The Plot Thickens More:

haha, you know this conservative douche was about to pull out his tiny dick and whack it had I responded favorably to his first message.

everyone spam him and piss in his ear then cum in his eye.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=165150320
thank you.


all this just because i posted this picture and said i wanted to name them Ann Coulter and Condi:

Grind House

This Tarantino/Rodriguez Double-Feature, complete with fake grindhouse movie trailers from the likes of Rob Zombie and others, looks badass.






from Rob Zombies trailer for Werewolf Women of the SS

More fake movie trailers from the SXSW contest for Grindhouse

True-ly Ugs and Why Average-Looking Girls are Hot

True Ads have the ugliest guys i have ever seen that are supposed to be examples of attractive mate choices. Are the girls this ugly? I bet guys would say no. According to studies average looking girls are "hotter" than statstically more beautiful ones, perhaps b/c their faces are easier to process and match up to ideals in our heads.



Ok this isn't the ugliest guy ive ever seen in these ads, but i was offended by the ad overall. His face says, "i'm constipated" or perhaps "i have a an inanimate object in my butt...and i like it" or more so, "if there isn't already something up my butt, I would really love it if there was."

this is actually the ugliest True guy ive ever seen:



more info/examples from the Facial Beauty Research Lab of Uni Regensburg

The Simpsons Already Did It

Apparently Sweetwater, Texas holds an annual "Whacking Day" or Rattlesnake Round-up where they collect and kill thousands of snakes to "[control the pests that occaisionally injure/kill live stock]". Im pretty sure this is just intrinsic murderous instinct taking over the 30,000+ people who go to participate. I think its kind of disgusting, but i bet if i were there i would be all about slaughtering some rattlesnakes. Bloodlust is fun...but wrong? *shrug*




More Pictures Here

Go Hug Yourself

wow...this is just so lame. An entry from Time's Best Inventions of 2006:



"Remember when PDA stood for something other than personal digital assistant? It can again with the Hug Shirt, a high-tech garment that simulates the experience of being embraced by a loved one. When a friend sends you a virtual hug, your cell phone notifies the shirt wirelessly, via Bluetooth. The shirt then re-creates that person's distinctive cuddle, replicating his or her warmth, pressure, duration and even heartbeat. And, yes, the Hug Shirt is fully washable."
Inventor: CuteCircuit
Availability: Not yet for sale
To learn more visit cutecircuit.com

For all those who would comment on my souless lack of cuddling this might actually be a positive. I can record one good hug, then just send it to people instead of actually having to do it again.

Goldfrapp + TLW

1st the ditty bops and now Goldfrapp. At least the L Word's soundtrack is consistently good (barring the intro, of course...damn you Betty)


(Spoiler-y) preview from next sundays epi.

Debbie Does Dallas...Again

So the other night i stumbled upon a new reality show called Debbie Does Dallas...Again. Its about Vivid remaking the 1978 classic about an entire cheerleading team trying to raise enough money to send Debbie to the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader tryouts.



Reality TV + Porn = Pure Awesomeness. The pilot introduced a pretentious director, other higher-ups and a few of the girls they want to audition for the movie. One girl, the irreverent Cassidey, is an instant favorite ("i cant wait to wreck that girl *obscene gesture involving her lubricated thumb and a hypothetical orifice*). The other girls were boring and reminiscent of Laguna Beach/The Hills characters with their large sunglasses, tiny dogs, and inane conversation. But im still gonna watch, oh yes. There were other key moments: the girls discussing how men are basically just "stunt cocks", a girl getting skeeted (skat?)in her eye, etc



SHO, Fridays at 11pm and again at 1am
http://www.sho.com/site/debbiedoesdallasagain/home.do?source=shocom_home

Jersey = Hell

...i think not

Overheard in New York

Karina introduced me to this website filled with humorous quotes overheard in NY. Theres also Overheard at the Beach, in the Office, and Celebrity Wit.

perhaps i should send in a convo i overheard in my office that went something like this:
Woman 1: Yah, I get off whenever I have a chance.
Woman 2: Oh I know. Sometimes you just have to get off.

so maybe they were actually discussing the toll road/freeway, but whatever keeps me entertained.

My 8-year-old Guitar Hero

Monkey Wrench - Expert - 5 stars - Performance Mode (aka no notes to guide you)



See Cassie, he has tiny fingers and rox anyways