Y'all Are Brutalizin' Me

from Mr. Show with Bob and David. Ronnie Dobbs in Fuzz: The Musical.




post-Rocks conversation:

AzWethinkweLiZ: mjuscle lelavabts ar mangit 6-5
PamSmith3: muscle relaxants are ...what?
AzWethinkweLiZ: polysohince sorrw
AzWethinkweLiZ: imour
PamSmith3: hahahaha
PamSmith3: what?!
AzWethinkweLiZ: the golltofif brbrqw, iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
PamSmith3: ohhhh

Come Back Pomme & Kelly

i like the dutch. they are cool. i miss these 2 specifically.



BSB - Quit Playin Games With My Heart


Britney Spears - Toxic


Aretha Franklin - R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Improv Everywhere

I posted about Improv Everywhere awhile back on the ol' myspace blog, but i recently saw vid of theirs under Director Videos on youtube so i thought i'd revisit it.

Improv Everywhere is a group based in NYC who "cause[s] scenes of chaos and joy in public places." They're responsible for Operation: Best Buy , in which about 80 people showed up at the same store dressed in an outfit similar to the official Best Buy employee uniform.




"As agents started arriving, I had them wait out of view and sent people over individually in fifteen-second intervals...Pretty soon there was an agent stationed at every aisle in every section of the store."




Slo-Mo Home Depot is another, slightly more elaborate, "mission".

One Saturday, about 225 people showed up to participate.

"We would sychronize our watches and then walk over to Home Depot and shop. At exactly 4:15 we would all begin moving in slow motion. We’d do that for five minutes, and then shop normally for five minutes as if nothing had happened. At exactly 4:25 we would all freeze in place for five minutes. When that was over we would go back to normal and eventually leave the store."



Just before the freeze-in-place portion of the mission, Jewel's "Standing Still" came on the store speakers

My all-time favorite mission though is called The Moebius. This mission makes these people my heroes!

"On Saturday, March 22, 2003 Improv Everywhere agents created a living moebius strip in the Astor Place Starbucks. Seven undercover agents meticulously repeated a five-minute slice of time for twelve consecutive repetitions. Starbucks employees and patrons were frightened, confused, and ultimately entertained as they found themselves stuck, without escape, in the middle of a time loop."

There were six major components to the scene:

1. Agent Todd and Agent Dippold enter the Starbucks holding hands. They stand in line, debating over what to order. Agent Dippold reaches in her purse for her cell phone, revealing a pack of cigarettes. Agent Dippold becomes frustrated and begins to walk towards the door. Dippold exits and Todd chases out after her.
   
   
2. Agent Mason sits and writes at a table. Shortly after Todd and Dippold enter and stand in line, he spills his coffee. He trots across the Starbucks, grabs napkins, and returns to clean up his mess.
   
   
3. Agent Barrison sits and reads at a table. Directly after Agent Todd and Dippold exit, he receives a cell phone call (the ringer is set to loud and to “The Entertainer”). He gets up and walks to the window for better reception. He finishes the call and returns to his seat.
   
   
4. Agent King sits at a table and writes. Shortly after Barrison takes the phone call, King rises and heads to the bathroom line, stumbling and bumping in to Agent Mason on the way. He apologizes to Mason, asks the patron at the back of the bathroom line, “Is this the line for the bathroom?”, briefly waits in line, and then returns to his seat. After sitting he remarks to Agent Barrison (who is sitting at his table) that the line to the bathroom is “long”.
   
   
5. Agent Keech enters from outside with a boombox playing “Shiny Happy People” by R.E.M. The song is approximately 15 seconds underway when he enters. Keech dances through the Starbucks and exits out the door on the opposite side.
   
   
6. Agent Kula sits and reads a copy of ESPN The Magazine. After Keech exits he sneezes loudly, waits two beats, and then clears his throat. Moments after his sneeze, Agents Todd and Dippold enter and the loop starts again. Agent Kula is also responsible for placing the cell phone call that makes Agent Barrison’s phone ring.
   
   This sequence of events was repeated seamlessly for one hour.
   
   
   Check out the Improv Everywhere website to see more mission.
   
   Here is their youtube page as well

28 Day Slater

Hes Mario Lopez, but hes AC Slater...



episode 1


episode 2

more episodes here

SNL Celebrity Jeopardy

i had almost forgotten how amazing this segment was. here are some compilations:


threeve. a combination of three and five. simply stunning.



here's more on youtube, im too sleepy to find the best of everything. sorry if those overlap eachother and for the sound inconsitencies. wait, its not like i made them. *shrug*



speaking of SNL:


Colonel Angus, you old carpetbagger!

Other People Send Me Youtube Things

and i love them


David Blaine's Street Magic


thank you b.tan


Penus Power vs Virgina Power:


thank you bizzle

I Will Buy a Rabbit Suit:


thank you para

Life Goal # 782

to make it onto the Best Of Craigslist, the site thats helping me get thru the day:

You Rule, Vietnamese Waxer Lady

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2006-03-15, 3:44PM PST


My regular waxer was not available and I just could not bear the wild, untamed amazon bush jungle that my, well, bush had become for another day.

So I came to you on my lunch hour, Anonymous Vietnamese Waxer Lady who works at the cheapie nail place. We were mere strangers before this afternoon, but after knowing you only an hour, I feel like I must point out the reasons why you rule.

When it was necessary to get on all fours to do the “taint” part of the wax, you applied the wax so delicately to my bunghole, then asked, in what I assumed were two of the only five English words you know, “Too hot?” I responded yes, it was too hot. And without hesitation, you blew on it to cool the hot wax. YOU BLEW ON MY BUNGHOLE, Vietnamese Waxer Lady. Do you know how special that is? Nobody blows on the bung. Nobody.

Since you were a bit clumsy with the wax, there were many bits leftover that did not get taken up onto the “Strip of Doom” as I like to call it. So without any sort of trepidation whatsoever, you happily took a cotton ball and dug the wax out of my vaginal canal yourself. How did you manage to do that without making me feel the least bit uncomfortable, Vietnamese Waxer Lady? Were you a gynecologist back in Vietnam and they wouldn’t let you practice medicine in the United States when you immigrated here, and so now you wax pubes for a living? I know that kind of thing happens all the time, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all to know this occupation has not been your first foray into coochdom. And I know this is totally inappropriate, but I even started to feel, dare I say, a tiny bit frisky from the action. You just seemed to know my vagina so very well. Almost like you were two old friends, and I was this new acquaintance showing up to lunch with you and my vagina, but then was all like “Oh. I see you two have already met.”

Since you don’t speak much English, you had to motion to me where to place my legs in the air to best reach the “corner” as you called it. Most people would have been uncomfortable with their legs in the air and then having their butt cheeks spread further apart, mere centimeters from the face of a stranger. But you smiled at me and with a subtle expression, indicated that you, too, felt my pain. You should give lessons to medical students, Vietnamese Waxer Lady, on how to have good bedside manner. Or I guess in your case, ass-side manner.

I thanked you with a good tip, but I want to thank you here, publicly, for your selfless action, and for doing your part on behalf of all humanity to keep my pubes under control.

PostingID: 142248974



random question. does regularly conditioning your pubes make them softer? i mean, has anyone began a regimen of pube conditioning and charted any differences? just a quandary.

The Only Gay In The Village Coming to US

Dear Karina and Madison,

Little Britain is coming to the US, probably on HBO.



Yay


Dont go giving me baby evils...gahh

Dave Chappelle Breaks Stand Up Record

Sunday night Dave Chappelle got up on stage at LA's Laugh Factory for a "20, 25 minutes set" at 10:36pm and ended up doing stand-up for 6 hours! He left stage at 4:20am only b/c the owner told him he had to stop since security was leaving. He surpassed Dane Cook's almost 5 hour set last year, to break the Guiness Record for longest stand-up set and got fined $2200 in the process for using the N-word which has been banned from the Laugh Factory since KKKramer was up there.

The Laugh Factory owner says he plans on eventually putting up all 6 hours of footage on the website.

The Laugh Factory



dave chappelle has adorable blackapino kids <3

Cute or Sad?

exploiting children for fun and profit...just fun.

Mario vs. The Modern World

For Lisa:



is that radiohead?

Once Again, I <3 Overheard in New York

seriously, i love this website. http://www.overheardinnewyork.com

Still More Accurate Than What They Teach at Public Schools

Professor hobo: Now listen, folks. You got them crazies preachin' the end of the world. They's saying God's gonna come and un-begat us all the way to Adam. I'm not like that. I'm not. Listen -- I'm not -- so listen, okay? Listen. See, I'm a man of science. No heavenly undoing here. There's a black hole comin' this way. Those niggas comin' at like a thousand light miles an hour. I don't need no wheelchair super-talk from my computer to know that. It'll come and it'll steal your children. Pull 'em from bed and rape 'em and eat 'em. That's what them black holes do. Eat you. You and your children. Science!

--7 train

Overheard in New York

Karina introduced me to this website filled with humorous quotes overheard in NY. Theres also Overheard at the Beach, in the Office, and Celebrity Wit.

perhaps i should send in a convo i overheard in my office that went something like this:
Woman 1: Yah, I get off whenever I have a chance.
Woman 2: Oh I know. Sometimes you just have to get off.

so maybe they were actually discussing the toll road/freeway, but whatever keeps me entertained.